OMG, I've Been Dating Superheroes!

So after watching both Twilight and New Moon, (and may I add absolutely loving both), it occurred to me what my issue with men is! In fact, it is so obvious! Sit down, set your mind and ears straight, prepare yourself...for....I have been dating superheroes!

WOW! I mean isn't it obvious? In the first movie Edward, the aloof, sexy vampire swept Bella off her feet. He said and did all the right things, providing her a unique love as an escape from her life. He made her believe he may be "the one". And yet after just a couple months, he left, vanished, poof, gone from her life as though he never existed. When she begged to understand why, it was because he would ruin her, there were secrets he had that could never be shared for she would never love someone of his kind. So instead of talking it out, explaining what he could and couldn't deal with, instead he just left! I love it! It made it easier for me to understand! Clearly this is what I have been going through!

The second movie featured that hot, young stud, Jacob. Jacob picked Bella up in her time of need. When she thought life was lost in Edward's disappearance, Jacob stayed at her side. He provided her a friendship so strong that she knew he would never do anything to hurt her. He was her protector, the reason she saw light at the end of the tunnel. He vowed to never, ever hurt her the way Edward had. And for that, she fell in love again. That is until, poof, he turned into a werewolf. It was the fight when Bella approached him, demanding to know why he was ignoring and treating her like they had never had anything special. It was in his moment of anger and harshness, when he dashed through the air and turned into a hairy beast that I realized, OMG I really have been dating superheroes! I mean, hadn't I also met men who entered my life during a time of need? Didn't they make me see the light again, despite having had my heart ripped out from another so recently? Hadn't they told me it was time to write about having good dates and they would prove to me these men existed? And yet, bam, they were gone in a flash, no explanation, no closure?

Should I hold onto hope that someday they will come back? How many have I gone through? I remember when I dated Superman. Sadly, I only called him that because he had the same last name. But let's be honest, he turned out to be gay so I don't think that superhero is coming back. He is fighting for a much different world in the Castro of San Francisco! haha. I have definitely been with Spiderman, creating a web of memories and desires so thick, I surely couldn't see past the web to his hidden truth. Batman? Sure, I've been with the deep voice, speedy car man who sleeps upside down during the day and does his magic during the night! I remember that time with the Joker. Sadly, he didn't paint a smile on my face that was similar to the one he'd been scarred with. Okay, I didn't exactly date Aquaman, but I dated his cousin...isn't that close enough?&*$% Certainly been with Hellboy, actually I'm starting to thing there must be about 100 different versions of Hellboy! The Flash only lasted long enough to put a small tear in my heart and what do you know, he was gone in a flash! Shoot, I'm pretty sure I've even dated a transformer or two considering what they were able to turn themselves into at a moments notice, (let's be clear though, I have not dated that cute guy in the films who I am quite open to getting to know further!).

So who does that leave? I guess Wolverine, who's catch phrase is, "I'm the best there is at what I do, but what I do isn't very nice." Or wait...maybe I have dated Wolverine. I guess all that's left is Wonder Woman, hmmm, OR WAIT! Maybe, just maybe I AM A SUPERHERO! What if I am Wonder Woman and just don't know it yet! I certainly workout like an amazon! I have super strength, super speed, and stamina! Granted I don't really have a natural rapport or ability to speak to animals (uh oh, my dislike for animals may be enough to not let me be Wonder Woman!!!). Yet I also have a Lasso of Truth, and hope those bound to me are always truthful. Yes, clearly, now I have my answer.

I guess I don't really have anything to be worried about! Oh and for those of you pondering the thought that maybe Wonder Woman was a dyke...uh no...you are incorrect. She had men, she was just very busy fighting the evils of the world, which I am busy doing too!

Now then, superheroes...bring your talent on! Cause I'm looking for a true superhero, not just a made up one out of a flimsy book! Maybe there should be a Cupid superhero, a man who goes around fixing broken hearts, or just outting evil men right before they rip another woman's heart out of her chest. He would be strong, and hot, and sensitive, and straight. Wow! Does he exist? Cupid man...where are you?