Please Don't Use the "C" Word

What is it about the word…commitment…that sends men running for the hills? In fact, we as women do not even have to say the word. We can simply say, “Okay what time will you be over tonight?” and a man hears, “How long before you commit your entire manhood to me?”

Apparently, I am constantly making this mistake. I hang out with a guy and suddenly, he takes me for the girl who wants to get married…tomorrow.

Let us break down the C word, shall we? What do you find in the word commitment?
Commit
It
Men

Easy to read if you ask me but….nowhere do I see women in the word, nope, I only see the words commit-it-men. Let’s face it, commit can mean several things; it’s all in how you read it.
Definition of commit:
1. To do, perform, or perpetrate: commit a murder
2. To put in trust or charge; entrust: commit oneself to the care of a doctor; commit responsibilities to an assistant
3. To place officially in confinement or custody, as in a mental health facility
4. To consign for future use or reference or for preservation: commit the secret code to memory
5. To put into a place to be kept safe or to be disposed of
6. To refer to a committee
7. To pledge one’s own self: felt that he was too young to commit fully to marriage

Even the dictionary lists SIX definitions of the word (and 98 total words) before the word marriage is mentioned! Where in a man’s right mind, does commit equal marriage?

Now then, let’s take this further and define the word man:
1. An adult male human
2. A human regardless of sex or age; a person.
3. A human or an adult male human belonging to a specific occupation, group, nationality, or other category. Often used in combination: a milkman; a congressman; a freeman.
4. The human race; mankind: man's quest for peace.
5. Zoology A member of the genus Homo, family Hominidae, order Primates, class Mammalia, characterized by erect posture and an opposable thumb, especially a member of the only extant species, Homo sapiens, distinguished by a highly developed brain, the capacity for abstract reasoning, and the ability to communicate by means of organized speech and record information in a variety of symbolic systems.
6. A male human endowed with qualities, such as strength, considered characteristic of manhood.
7. A husband, male lover or sweetheart
8. A worker or enlisted personnel of the armed forces: officers and men
9. A male representative, as of a country or company: our man in Tokyo.
10. A male servant or subordinate

So out of 10 definitions, the ONLY one that speaks of relationships is # 7 and what do you know, that beats out ranks being a servant…so men, which do you prefer?

I bring up this topic because, well, I am sore about it. I think men blow the word commitment right out of the water. I have had countless men; good guys, bad guys, broke guys, cheaters, losers, professionals, etc. that when it comes down to it they claim they just are not ready to “commit”? What men, does commit mean to you? To a woman, it’s easy. It means we will not cheat, we will support and praise you, we will listen to what you have to say, we will cook you breakfast and dinner and likely send you off with a fantastic, heartfelt lunch. We will admire you, will honor you as our protector, and essentially be happy to only be with you. These are all good things. These are all characteristics that you need as a man. Maybe you don’t realize it but try to feel good about yourself when you can’t protect or financially support a woman, it’s not possible, so get over it and be happy we want you to do these things for us. Honestly, where do you hear that commitment means you can no longer hang out with your friends, you need to have a fitness routine that is off the hook so your body looks unbelievable, you need to shut your mouth when we go out so you don’t sound like an ass, you need to stop drinking beer because it’s too high in calories, you need to stop watching football because it wastes your whole day, you need to give us babies, you need to marry us now, you need to essentially whack off your unit and hand it over on a silver platter. Who told you this? Did some woman, somewhere actually expect these things and ruin every single one of you?

Is there an age that a man realizes what the “C” word entitles and finds he is ready to embrace it? I used to hear it was when a man turned 30. Yes, score a man at 30 because suddenly he starts thinking that he may be too old to play ball with his son when he grows to be a teen. He wants to come home to a woman who is finally looking forward to seeing him. He thinks about getting married. He likely has a decent job and goals in mind on how to get ahead. He dreams about the big house, the picket fence, and all that goes with it. Yes, I have heard 30 is that prime age. If you think about it, how many guys do you see who are 30 -33 walking around without a wedding ring? Know why? Because some smart woman somewhere got off her scared ass and made it happen. She knew that if she didn’t snatch him up, someone else would. So she looked out for herself and did herself something wonderful! Now I’m not claiming there is a cut off time, but I do think you have to land them before they turn 34. See, at 34, men who are still single are beginning to becomea little too comfortable with their bachelor lives. They enjoy going out with the guys five nights a week and drinking a six pack seven nights of the week. They don’t decorate their house, they believe all women are selfish bitches, and they don’t ever see themselves committing, though they’ll joke about committing themselves to a mental institution before they would be caught dead in a real relationship with a woman. How sad that this is what they become. Have we as women pushed them to this?

See I don’t think I’m a pain in the ass. In fact, I think I am fairly good in a relationship. Sure, I can be needy and want you to tell me you are taken by me often, but I sure as hell am not one of those bitchy, pain in the ass chics that lands all the men. Nope, I go with the flow, until I’ve made up my mind on whom I want to be with, and, uh oh, I try to commit and in turn you men see it as a bad thing. So for experience sake only, I tried to play my cards differently these last six months. I tried to date up to five men at a time. That way I figured one of you was sure to stand out above the rest, one of the five of you was going to be ready to commit. Me, I am careful about the man I am willing to commit to. I make sure he is the first to mention someday wanting kids, I am a sucker for the man who brings me flowers and showers me with affection. I am careful and cautious of being the first to become starry eyed because I already know that only gets you hurt. Nope, I make you men try, you chase me, you prove that I am the one you want. You do everything correct and examine how you will become the big winner. Then I finally decided and bam, you are gone, freaked out that I am going to take you away from your friends and ruin your life. I just don’t understand it. Friends have told me guys just freak out but I don’t believe it. I’m starting to think it’s not about freaking out, it’s about being so self centered that everything is on your terms, according to your time and your payday. Where me, everything is according to when I am fortunate enough to see you, I would switch my timing around if it worked better for you and I guarantee I’d let my pocketbook go negative if it meant us having a good time. Hmmmm, ironic isn’t it?

So other than my hashing things out and bitching and moaning, men, next time you meet a nice girl, I mean a good girl, you know…the type you know you should someday “commit to,” rather than freak out just go with it. How sad that you would walk away from something wonderful just because you got scared, right? I mean, how many of those chances do you get? You will become older, too, not just us women. I haven’t heard any nicknames come up for older men who score young girls…interesting, only women have been coded classified as cougars because what other choice do we have? We are forced to keep pushing ourselves to find that one in between 30 and 34…wow, I just thought of my next writing topic.