It was clear to everyone that I had recently been shut down by a man. When the waiter approaches your table and offers you fresh ground pepper and all you can think of is jerk seasoning, there is madness in the air.

Jamaican Jerk Seasoning is traditionally applied to pig and chicken (interesting since these are also two types of men). So when exactly does something need seasoning? Think of it this way. Bite into a raw onion, youch! It’s pungent and sharp. But boil the onion for 30 minutes, take another bite and it is far less bitter. Set it to boil again and take another bite; you will find that the onion has lost a great deal of its flavor. This, ladies, reminds me of a woman who needs to use more seasoning. Stick a knife into us right away and watch out, we can be sharp and bitter. Boil our blood again and you will find we have lost a bit of our fight, our harshness. Do it again and ladies, you need to bust out a bit of that jerk seasoning and throw it right in your partners face.

It’s easier to season your food, even if you like the jerk, then it is to add flavor to your pig or your chicken. I’m going to start carrying jerk seasoning in my purse. Maybe I can be better about grilling my dates from the get-go.